Yesterdays breakfast meeting inadvertently turned into an impromptu Turkish lesson, all because of one word.

- 28 / 01 / 2008 01:26

 Having been greeted with ‘Günaydın amca’ by the not quite awake waiter, my colleague wanted to know what had been said. ‘Just good morning Uncle’. “But I’m not his uncle” ‘You are in Turkish culture’.

 Its a mark of respect when someone younger than you uses ‘amca’ or ‘dayı’, just be thankful he didn’t call you ‘dede’. “Why’s that then?” Dede means grandad in Turkish I told him laughing.

“So whats with the ‘abi’ & ‘abla’ when Turkish people are talking amongst themselves then?”

Work now completely forgotten I tried to explain…

The tendency to use abi & abla when talking to someone is also respect, though I’m sure in some cases its used because its easier than trying to remember someones name.

Mind you, try telling our 19 year old secretary that - she gets pretty upset when the paper boy calls her abla.

 I laughed the first time he did it. It was Nida’s to turn to laugh when a teenager ‘tried’ to give up his seat for me on the dolmuş saying “otur teyze”.

 How come anyone over 40 automatically is an aunt? I’d prefer abla personally…

Words for immediate family members are quite easy. Anne (mother), baba (father), kız çocuk (daughter), erkek çocuk (son), abi (older brother), abla (older sister), erkek kardeş (brother) and kız kardeş (sister).

Outside the immediate family its hard enough for Turks, never mind foreigners trying to get to grips with the language.

My neices & nephews get confused working out whether its mom’s brother (dayı) or dad’s brother (amca) they are talking to.

They don’t use ‘yenge’ when they’re talking to me, amidst a flow of Turkish it sounds really funny to hear ‘Aunty Magi’ thrown in mid sentence.

 Family words are often used as a term of affection. A dear friend of ours is known to everyone as ‘John Baba’.

He says its down to his distingushed ‘silver fox’ looks & not because he’s old enough to be ‘dad’.

One word I’ve never been able to adjust to is ‘yenge’ .

To me it makes you sound like an attachment, I’ve been told not using it is dis-respectful to the person you are attached to.

I prefer ‘baldız’ which more or less means the same, just has a nicer sound to it.

‘Görümce’ is yet another word for sister-in-law (meant for a husbands sister), but one I’ve always had trouble remembering.

We’ve laughed about it since, but mine was none too impressed on a rare visit to the city when I introduced her to a teacher friend as ‘benim örümcek’, is it my fault ‘spider’ sounds like sister in law in Turkish?

 It can all seem very confusing when you’re first starting out. Leaving you feeling as though you’ll never get to grips with the terms or when its appropriate to use them.

My colleague wasn’t as bemused as I thought he’d be though.

 In fact he’s convinced as he has a problem.

 Remembering names abi, abla and the others that he’s learnt will come in more than useful.

Magi Adiyaman